I’ve Got Another Confession To Make…
Isn’t it true that if we talk about our those things we wish to improve about ourselves, rather than shove them further down the rabbit hole, that we have a better chance of overcoming them? Is it true that once the “dirty laundry” is aired, that, in the end, what may have tormented us, wasn’t such a big deal after all… or you discover that, “wow, you do that too?!?” And feel a sigh of relief to know you’re not alone.
In an effort to air things out and to be a little more honest – and to hopefully free myself of some of this unending supply of guilt I place on myself.
* We are accidental co-sleepers with Quinn. I say accidental because this was not my intention and I feel guilty for it. When she was a newborn it was difficult for her to settle herself at night. She would rustle around in her bassinet — and not get any good sleep, nor would I. So, I started placing her in bed with me/us. There are many wonderful things about co-sleeping… (including some studies that show sleeping with an infant can help them regulate their breathing). I get tons of sleep, as does she. And night nursing sessions are only a vague memory the next morning, as I nurse her with one eye barely open. She and I are so well rested – it’s wonderful.
Ahh, but it’s not all fun and games… One of the down-sides to this guilty-pleasure-sleep-arrangement is the resentment that is building up on the other side of the bed. Jake keeps asking me, “when is she going to sleep in her crib?” And I know this needs to happen… I know my daughter needs to sleep in her own bed now that she’s getting more and more familiar with her surroundings. But OMG it’s hard. When she was 2 months old I said we’d do it when she was 12 or 13 weeks… She’s now going on 17 weeks and as I type right now, she’s snuggled in the huge king size bed sawing logs.
It is my goal to teach her to sleep in her crib, but honestly I’m afraid. She’s a stubborn little thing and I know it’s going to be a nightmare of a task. On the other hand, I need to do it for the sake of my marriage.
*Quinn naps in our bed AND I lay next to her until she falls asleep. She has not yet successfully put herself to sleep for a nap or at bedtime. (I’m not counting when she falls asleep in the Bjorn or in the Stroller). I lie her down and snuggle up to her… She crashes out in a few minutes. I have actually tried many times to get her to nap on her own, however, she’s never asleep when the alarm of my internal “cry it out” clock rings at 15 minutes. At which point she’s so worked up, I’ve just quadrupled the time it’ll take to get her to fall asleep because she’s so amped. Egads… What a dream it is, to think about the day she’ll put herself to sleep.
The truth is, our daughter is so similar to so many babies… She is able to be taught how to sleep in her crib and how to fall asleep on her own. The question is, am I able to do it? When I do work up the courage, oh my gosh, it’s gonna be tough. Tears, heartbreak… the whole nine yards folks.
Now I’m done and now you know…
Oh, our babies are so much alike! Just an encouraging word – Reid is currently in the middle of a nap (in his own crib) that promises to be between 1-2 hours. So things do get better! If you would like, email me and I could tell you what has worked for us as far as getting Reid to sleep in his crib for bedtime and naps…
christine-
I love reading your blog and seeing how your darling Quinn is growing! what a fun and wonderful time for the three of you! As far as the accidental co-sleeping and snuggle-to sleep approach. Just enjoy it:-) I/we deliberately chose to co-sleep with our kids and those nights are some of the fondest memories that I have. Now that Odelia is 4 and Cullen is 2, Joe and I find ourselves sneaking in to snuggle them at night because we miss it so much! I know that it takes a toll on a marriage, but before you know it-Quinn will be putting herself to sleep and sleeping in her own crib. I know it that everyone says it…but that is because it is true, “they grow up too fast!”.
When we did try to get our kids to sleep I found the book, “The No Cry Sleep Solution” to be helpful. Good luck-enjoy your time together!!
xxoo
liz