Birth Story – Part 2 (Final Chapter)
Finally, at 1 o’clock, the nurse checked me and THANK GOD, I’d made it to 10 cm! All of a sudden the reality of actually pushing a baby out of a 10 cm opening FRIGHTENED me. I clung to the nurse and shreiked…”I’m scared to push”… She gave me a reassuring smile and said that pushing would actually FEEL GOOD. I laughed in my head, but just moments later I realized she was correct. It DID feel better to push. Afraid yes, but I was still very happy to push. 13 hours into labor and I was SOOO ready to push.
I got into position and had my team of mothers (mom, step-mom & mom-in-law) and my husband surrounding me for support.
I gave that first push, trying to guide ALL of my power and energy to my bum (as instructed). Recalling all of the Baby Stories I’d watched over the past 9 months, I envisioned that the baby would make her appearance after 3 or 4 pushes… HAHA. Good thing I’m not the bettin’ kind.
So much of the time that I was pushing was a bit of a blur, however, this is what I recall:
Hour 1 – Pushed, pushed and pushed. Husband feeding me ice chips. Nurses cheering, “perfect”, “I see her head”, “here she comes!”. Mom, step-mom, mom-in-law & Husband counting in unison. Pushed. Pushed and Pushed. LOTS O’PAIN.
Hour 2 – More pushing. More FALSE statements from nurses… “we see her head”, “she’s making her way down”, “you’re making great progress”… More pushing. More ice chips. MASSIVE PAIN. Hold in breath – push… push… push… WAIT — Pushing too soon… wait for contraction to peak – then push. More ice chips, more counting, more pushing, more pain. Feeling so exhausted – I want to just stop pushing. I’m just done – I can’t do it anymore.
Hour 3 – Dr. comes and pushing continues. I’m onto these damn nurses – LIARS! “We see her”, “she’s RIGHT there”, “here she comes…” PUSH. PUSH. PUSH. EXHAUSTED. PUSH. PUSH. PUSH. Ice chips. Attempts to channel Billy Blanks, ANGRY PUSH! ANGRY PUSH! SH*T – THIS HURTS.
We were half way into the 3rd hour when the doctor said… “Ok Christine, we’re going to give this about another half hour, then we’re going to talk about options.” In this exact moment, being so delirious from exhaustion and pain – in my head I was thinking… TAKE ME TO SURGERY – GET HER OUT!!! I was SO, SO tired… I felt with nearly every ounce of me – that this was impossible. Pushing a baby out of my nether regions was a farcical idea that would never come to fruition.
However I said none of this and instead said…”I’ve gotten this far.” “I can’t stop now.” PUSH! PUSH! PUSH! I don’t want a c-section – I’m almost there! Pleeeeaassseeee….
In a half dazed state, I hear, “episiotomy”… Then I hear “vacuum” - two things that were not on my birth plan, however on the other hand, I was overjoyed to hear because this meant progress right?! That the end was near?!?! Part of me believed this and the other part of me felt they were all still just F’ing with me… Soon I found out, they weren’t.
The doctor placed a vacuum in my body and I SCREAMED in PAIN. In case you’re wondering, a vacuum INSIDE your body does NOT feel awesome. It feels like an ancient form of torture. Then they said… “don’t push, don’t push” and then they said “PUSH!” and I did and I felt it… The RING OF FIRE. Then they shouted “STOP PUSHING!” I heard, “chord around her neck” and then “PUSH!” And my baby was out.
2/17/08 - 4:09 p.m. All 8 pounds, 21 inches of her.
3rd time c-section dodged.
